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From: Gerry Armstrong <gerry @gerryarmstrong.org>
Newsgroups: alt.religion.scientology,de.soc.weltanschauung.scientology
Subject: Davey the Divinator® Answers Rumpel Stilzchen
Date: Sun, 31 Aug 2003 19:18:25 +0200
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Dear Mr. Stilzchen:

You ask, "Midget, do you wear trousers?" Well, before I answer, let
me say that you have a most unusual name. Curiously, it's a name with
which I'm more than a tiny bit familiar. The other Rumpel Stilzchen
was my kind of guy, actually, who was described in the English edition
of his biography as a "little man," a "manikin," and even at one
point, "quite a ridiculous little man."
I see you're seven foot eight, which dwarfs me certainly, so you can't
be the same little guy I read about in my earlier years. Trolls, of
course, can be either Zwerge or Riesen, so I have to ask, are you a

In truth, although Stilzchen and I were alike in a number of
dimensions, I identified more with the king in his story, who locked
this young girl up and forced her to spin straw into gold. As is
quite well known, I worked as a pageboy for another king, Elron der
Grosse, who ran the same kind of enterprise, but from the other way
around. King Elron fed the straw to horses and then spun his
horseshit into gold. He kept not just one young girl locked up and
making gold for him, but trapped thousands of girls and boys, and men
and women, and got them all to spin his horseshit into gold for him.
Ironically, exactly as Stilzchen's biographer wrote about that king,
the more gold Elron got from all that spinning of all that horseshit,
"his heart became only more greedy."

As a page, I had a number of years to watch greedy King Elron, and
then I began to work my way up the court ladder. I spun a ton of
horseshit myself, made gold, trapped people to work in Elron's shit to
make gold, and got them to trap other people to make more gold out of
his shit. I learned who Elron's spies and mercenaries were, and where
he hid all his gold. I bided my time, and then one day, whack! King
Elron was dead, and, after a brief power struggle, I took over his
army, his treasury, his mountain of horseshit, and his chain of
factories that have never stopped for one day spinning all that shit
into gold. This for me is truly the Golden Age.

As for your question, of course I wear trousers. I am painfully aware
that my trousers could be your shorts, but they still are my trousers.
In fact, for the same painfully obvious reasons, I never wear shorts,
but only trousers. I use lifts just so my trousers have enough length
to be trousers and not be mistaken for some other guy's shorts. Even
with my lifts, as your question indicates, however, a tall person
could easily think my trousers were a couple of inches short of a pair
of pants.

Which reminds me. A lot of people say that I'm a couple of inches
short of a wog. And that very well may be. But technically I'm not a
midget. Technically, of course, I'm also not a dwarf. With my lifts,
I move up to within the two inches I mentioned of just about any
average wog. I am colossally aware that all sorts of wogs call me a
dwarf. Of course I'm aware, in fact frightfully self-conscious, of my
stature. You'd be too if you were my size. Otherwise, clearly, I
wouldn't bother with the lifts, and or with standing on those risers
or duck boards when I'm having my photo taken. But in all of those
photos, no matter what you think, I'm wearing trousers.


Davey the Divinator®

PS Is this your site? http://www.rumpelstilzchen.com/

© Gerry Armstrong


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