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Doing Darshan With the Guru

In British Columbia, after fleeing the U.S. because of “ religious” persecution from the Scientology cultists, I encountered my guru. Or perhaps he encountered me. One never quite knows with gurus. Actually, I had met my guru in Anaheim of all places more than twenty years earlier, but I was a Scientologist myself back then and wouldn’t have been able tell a true guru from a big fat fraud.

So B.C. was my Happy period. Even though tens of thousands of Scientologists wanted to dispose of me quietly and without sorrow, I was just about always like my guru, kind of Happy. The best thing about him, which is the sign of the very best gurus, was that no matter what I was, or what I did, or what I had, for him or for anyone else, he was always Happy.

Gerry taking darshan with Happy

As is clear in the above photo, where I’m taking darshan with my guru, he is truly Happy. He cost me nothing, demanded nothing, and never punished me if I didn’t do what he didn’t demand. He was Happy, and I was as Happy as I could be. His presence would make just about anyone a little Happy.

Scientologists on the other hand (the left one) do darshan with Dopey. And that’s okay. If they want to have Dopey, be Dopey or even do Dopey, that’s up to them. They pay big bucks for their Dopey guru, which makes them a little Dopey too.

Before I found my guru Happy, and before Dopey became guru to the Scientologists, we all did darshan with Greedy. Some folks called him Slimey, some called him Fatty, and some called him Bully, and it’s true that he was. But most importantly, he was thoroughly Greedy.

After Slimey, or Fatty, or Bully or Greedy, or whatever you want to call him, kicked the collection box or absconded to Bulgravia, his hat was grabbed by little Dopey. Some people in fact call the Scientologists’ new guru Grabby. Some also call him Shorty or Nutzy, and he is, but he is known by everyone world wide as Dopey.

The Scientologists have gotten a terrible deal with their new little guru. He charges them huge sums of money to do darshan, demands slavish obedience, and flies into these psychotic tantrums when anyone is counter intention to his orders or whims. He is an absolute little tyrant. But he’s Dopey. And Dopey is as Dopey does.


Scientology guru Dopey
Old background image from International Scientology News Issue 17 © 2001 CSI

Scientologists would be very wise to tell little Dopey to stick his orders, whims, collection box and cult in his Dopey ears. And then they should go out and get Happy.





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