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Certified Wogs ®

Just about anyone can say, "I am a wog ®." But not everyone can say, "I am a certified wog ®." And not just anybody does certify wogs. Well, the Church of Wogs (CoW)® does.

As a special offer to Founding Wogs ®, the first one thousand wogs ® who send in a donation of $29.95 USD or more to CoW ® will be mailed a Wog Hat ® and a Wog Certificate ®, hand-signed by the Founder.

Other " churches" ask for many times this amount, and don't even give good hat. If you're not a certified Wog ® (and who is?) this is the time to act. Your certificate will be numbered, signed and issued in the order your check or money order clears CoW's ® bank account.

Remember, the manufacturer's price for any Founder-signed piece of paper is $15.00 USD, so it can be quite profitable to send checks for his endorsement. By getting back your Founder-endorsed check, plus a certificate worth at least $15.00, plus a Wog Hat ® worth at least something, you'll actually be making money.

Obviously the Founder can only sign so many certificates or endorse so many checks in his lifetime, so every signature promises to be instantly collectible. Consider supporting the Church of Wogs (CoW) ® an investment, and imagine your Wog Cert ® as stock.

You might be thinking that for just $29.95 USD you would be joining the world's fastest growing religion, the Church of Wogs ®. But it's even better than that, because you can join the world's fastest growing religion for free. Just say, "Iam a wog ® and I want to join," and you're a member. (See CoW's ® Member Signup) If you want to donate to the CoW ® to help us in our causes, that would be a miracle.

If you donate $29.95 or more, you'll be mailed a Wog Hat ® and a Wog Cert ®, the first thousand of which are guaranteed hand-signed by the Founder. See a sample of his signature below.

It's never been more true than today, the whole future of mankind depends on what wogs ® do about it. Get certified and get hatted. Maybe you can afford to not be certified or hatted, but maybe someone else can't. Well just donate the $29.95 ($45.95 CAD) for that needy wog ® and CoW ® will get him or her certified and hatted up for you.

There's a time and a place for everything, and this is it.

Church of Wogs ®
cow@gerryarmstrong.org

 

© 2001 Gerry Armstrong

 

CoW's® special introductory offer ended December 31, 2002. This was not, as a certain non-Wog® organization has been claiming, in any way related to Mad Cow Disease, but was a scheduled pasturization. The special introductory offer is simply historical, background, not used now, and old.

We milk the CoW®. We don't milk the milkers. The milk was free. Keep it so.

 

Wog Q & A

Revd. Norle Enturbulata 12-14-2001

bwarr 12-14-2001

Boudewijn 12-14-2001

 
 
 

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